Archive for the ‘Unconscious Satire’ Category

Sam showed his crass moves to attract Caroline Wilson’s attention.
May 1, 2008

Sam Newman attempted to humiliate Caroline Wilson because she’s perceptive, knows the game better than he, and writes brilliantly. These days she’d probably play a better game of football than Sam

The psychology behind such a performance is interesting. Sam chose a mannequin because that’s the only shapely thing he can really relate to. He placed the plaster model in a bikini because that’s his favourite uniform and placed Caroline’s face on his favourite object because he’s deeply attached to her. The poor guy handled the mannequin in what he thought was the appropriate way to have sex, or make love, and he looked like the perfect sleaze that attempts to fondle a desirable woman in any way he can.

King hitter Nick D’Arcy’s been shafted for doing exactly what China is known for – excessive violence
April 18, 2008

So D’Arcy the Olympic king hitting swimmer has been shafted. It’s a surprise. He suited the Beijing Olympics so well. He was a thug, he was fast with his instruments and had practiced the punch to perfection. He had no scruples when hitting a mate at the bar and he had done it all before. He was following China’s lead on murderous oppression in Tibet to a T.

The Olympic authorities in Australia have no idea of how this decision will be denigrated. If they don’t appreciate violence, murder, brutal physical violence against women and children, they shouldn’t be having the Beijing Olympics. If you punish the participating athletes you must also punish the hosts.

Julia Gillard’s naive display over e-mails is shocking
April 15, 2008

dpm Julia Gillard’s spin on allowing bosses to read staffs e-mails was like a decomposing fish in the face.  I don’t mean who did what to whom at the Christmas parties, she tried. Well, that’s exactly the sort of e-mails the bosses will read. As we’ve realised over the last few weeks most bosses are so crooked those who are owed money by them send gangsters to collect their money.

Come on Julia most bosses are bullies and will tease, taunt and hound their staff over minor but inappropriate e-mails: it gives the bosses more control of the private lives of staff. There could even be intimidation and blackmail, or setting up staff by contacting those people with whom they have relationships

Who for Christ’s sake imagined that because they’re senior executives that bosses have any morals at all? It would seem to be exactly the reverse if you look at those who have been before the courts over the last 12 months. How did she become dpm with such naivety on display?

Men like New York Governor Eliot Spitzer mistake their wallet for their fly
March 14, 2008

Former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer is one of those poor bastards that missed out on real sex in his mad scramble for power. Real sex has nothing to do with money being paid in an attempt at satisfaction, although wealthy women occasionally mistake a man’s wealth for personality, power and good looks.

So it’s not entirely a philanderer’s fault if he mixes up his wallet and his fly. Women and men mistake the attraction of symbols for the reason that those copywriters who have pored over Freud (and Shakespeare, as Freud used his symbols to interpret dreams and desires) for meaningful symbols that will turn people into harvesting consumers, have managed to disguise sexual lust in ads for food, coffee, icecream, cars, weapons of mass destruction, and anything else you like to mention.

Still you’d expect a governor to know enough about sex to indulge it with some finesse and ultimate enjoyment. Sex for an hour with a paid companion is hardly anyones considered structure for a delightful evening. It’s more like a cookie monster hard at work on lingerie.

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Mr Glyde the government’s agricultural adviser who says sack farmers is himself a no-brainer.
March 5, 2008

Hey, we’ve got a live one in Phillip Glyde, head of the Australian Bureau of Agriculture and Resource Economics. The brilliant mind is saying that drought effected farmers shouldn’t be given aid, but should be sorted out by their experience. If they can’t survive economically they should be shafted.

Oh really, and has he looked at himself? Has Canberra’s chief adviser on agriculture been a success?

It would appear not, look at the figures he quotes. These farmers at the bottom 25% of earners have earned zero dollars for the last 20 years. Glyde says, “Fuck’em they’re hopeless.” He’s not hopeless? It’s been his job to advise governments on how to make farming profitable. So let’s look more closely at his advice. If a labourer makes no profit for twenty years, should he/she give it up? A farmer afterall is a highly skilled and knowledgeable agriculturalist who does much labouring. But the skill and knowledge can be thrown out the window if there is no water. For many there is no water. In one drought effected area – the Central Goldfields – water is going to a Chinese protein factory. Well, it was however the money has stopped flowing so the building is built but the workers aren’t getting paid. Many of those people are farmers working as labourers, so I ask, dear Mr Glyde, what should they do, stop labouring?

But we’re onto Mr Glyde, he would be one of those no-brains who has supported GM seeds etc and has simple visions of great corporations taking over the farming of Australia, using GM crops – perhaps soybean for bio fuels – and like Paraguay and Argentina where companies like Montsanto sell the GM seeds, and the pesticides and herbicides at the strength that GM crops can take, and devastates the rest of the country (see Paraguay’s experience in The Guardian online). Not only are the crops of small farmers ruined because of the spray drift of the chemicals but governments work against them to ensure they are financially ruined and have to sell to the big corporations who are using GM.

Now the big question arises. As many GM crops cross the genes of bacteria, vegetable and animal there are unknowns entering our bodies; our bodies have never processed such glug before and, strangely, develop allergies. America, a great lover of GM food, has had a huge increase in serious allergies. And Mr Glyde, thanks to the brainless like yourself, there has been no research into such developments. Gee, I’m so old I remember when governments told us that there was no no danger from radiation.

America -with desert super bases – is to stay in Iraq forever, and the mainstream media didn’t tell you
December 22, 2007

For so long I tried to make a link between the US not wanting to sign up for cutting emissions and their reliance on oil. I could never make it, until now. Jim Holt in The London Review of Books (October) has helped me. He has shown readers that the United States feel they can rely on oil longer than any other country, and so establish continuing industrial dominance (you wondered why Bush was so arrogant didn’t you?) They can do this because Iraq has 115 billion barrels of known oil reserves, five times the total of the United States. According to experts there may also be another 300 billion barrels of undiscovered oil. In Iraq there has only been two thousand oil wells drilled but in Texas they have over a million. See the potential there? Well if you don’t, according to Jim Holt, the US forces are sitting on one quarter of the world’s oil resources.

Who will finally get this oil? In the draft bill, prepared by the US for the Iraqi Congress, Iraq will cede nearly all this oil to Western companies for the next thirty years. The Iraq oil company will retain seventeen of the present eighty oil fields. The undiscovered oil fields will all go to the western companies.

Now, you might ask, how will they be protected? Is the US simply behaving in the manner of a boastful pretender. Are they, by enforcing their authority on a country that appears to be thrashing them, simply attempting to impress the rest of the planet?

No, the US is serious, and to this end are building five super bases in the deserts of Iraq, each super base capable of holding twenty thousand men. The bases are well along and far from the urban terrorists. These men will control and protect all the oil infrastructure. America is to stay in Iraq forever. And remember the mainstream media hasn’t told you.

Australia never had a place in its culture for adventure, romance or experimenting with different ideas
December 21, 2007

The evidence in the Hicks case spells the end of Australian understanding of romance, adventure, and the thrill of experimenting with new ideas. We never really did understand, for our present hollow culture is more of the cruel, bureaucratic and vengeful genre. Let’s not kid ourselves. The fading culture that we glorified came from the David Hickses and Jack Thomases of the nation who took to the sniff of war in 1914 for comradeship and adventure. It didn’t come from our imitative, educated and ambitious classes who sacrificed fun for doubtful status. Doubtful because in the swim to the top of the horrible pile it means servility to those nations we wrongfully regarded as our superiors. Look at our subsequent distorted perceptions. Menzies imagined the Queen as a romantic, sexualised image. Keating thought Menzies correct and being opportunistic working class ( which used to have a strong culture) placed his hand on her waist and was splapped on the wrist by the media. How unbelievably banal and pathetic. If she had responded in a knowing way Keating would have rogered her without hesitation, later receiving the offer of a knighthood. Keating was a bit too real for our sick bureaucratic nation.

And are we going to pay for the nasty, obsequious drivel that our department heads foist on our lazy politicians.

The Hicks case shows just how far we have deprived ourselves of our democratic rights and the rule of law. It’s not just Hicks who has to prove himself innocent of terrorist sympathies, and being a future danger, it’s all of us. Don’t think so? Just remember the environmental protesters who were arrested in the UK under such laws a few weeks ago.

And who may have beenthe role models for Hicks and Thomas in the thirties? Why, George Orwell and Arthur Koestler. They took the communist side in the Spanish civil war. Each of them were condemned to death and each were subject to a mock execution. Read terrorist for communist in that conflict. However they each saw the error of the side they had chosen and wrote revealing texts on it. Texts we still turn to for enlightenment.

My predictions on Iraqi matters were all hung out to dry
December 20, 2007

Did you ever wonder why Downer and Costello beat a hasty retreat from the corridors of power? Could you ever have imagined that they would be charged over the AWB’s kickback scam to Saddam Hussien. To me it was unbelievable that these people were unaware of $290 million worth of bribes paid by Australia. One way to check this at a later date is to see what happens to those who covered for them. The cover up went like this: No, the ministers didn’t see the letters or e-mails despite these missives being sent and seen by individuals in their employ. How slack of their administrations not to mention a leak of so much money to Saddam. I didn’t believe it and predicted that the ministers would be charged along with those  who are accused of “ought to have known about contracts,” “ought to have known fees breached Iraq trade sanctions” etc. Our former ministers, who deal so competently with financial matters, should surely know that those who are banned from receiving Australia’s money shouldn’t get it.

And while I’m about admitting my predictions in these matters have come to nothing, my major prediction on Iraq certainly slid into the absurd genre. I predicted that the Americans, being unable to cope with the war, would reinstall Saddam and everything would return to normal. I had underestimated America’s greed for oil and having their oil legislation passed by the new government they established. Having necked Saddam they had to create a fallback position. Again I imagined (not predicted) that they would follow Colin Powell’s strategy of fighting and beating the Iraqis in the desert. He didn’t want to go near the cities (wise soldier). The fallback position is “structured fabrication.” We didn’t tell anyone about the civilian casualties (and denied the UN figures of hundreds of thousands) so we’ll stop telling them about all the bombings. We’ll have to tell them about some or they won’t believe our story. However with a fall in bomber statistics we can say the Bush surge has worked. We only need more troops. It’s just unfortunate but now the figures are down we’ll be withdrawing troops.

THE CIA CENSOR THE NET
December 18, 2007

Following my suspicion that the CIA had censored my post on their torturers having sexual pleasure at the expense of their victims, a correspondent has contacted me with the figures published in a recent Harpers magazine. Since June 2004 Wikipedia has had 310 entries censored and re-written (edited) by the CIA.

I no longer suspect that I’m paranoid. And I was tested. My phone/computer line crashed the day the story appeared in the News Diary in The Age (edited by Suzanne Carbone) and during the evening the lights in the house fused out.

Each event had rational explanation. The phone line was torn from its socket when an extremely large truck (no one has seen one so large prior to this – evidence is that the line hadn’t previously been broken) rounded my corner and stripped the line from the lamp post.

I discovered that the lights had fused out because the lights in my wife’s new gallery (Shed 47, Talbot) was an overload when two freezers came on. See, simple explanations. No need to rush out to purchase dogs and other armaments.

WordPress censored my CIA post or was it the CIA?
December 12, 2007

WordPress censored my post, CIA torturers get sexual thrills. It was run under Cruelty  and Unconscious satire tags but censored from nineteen other tags, including Australia, Courts, Environment, History, Humour, Journalism, Justice, Murder, News, Politics, Swimming, terrorism, Torture, War, Water, media and fashion (as in fashion in torture). Such censorship, for it happened in 15 seconds or less, means that the CIA have infiltrated WordPress. Sure I accused them of receiving sexual pleasure from torture and supplied circumstantial evidence but the poignant point is they are geared to censorship the internet almost instantly. Or was it WordPress? The story referred to the recent CIA destruction of tapes. I think that what happens to this post will supply more evidence in the matter.